Courtship should go through phases to give time for a relationship to develop.  In the movies it's fun for everyone, including the couple involved, to guess where the relationship stands.  In real life, leave out the guesswork!  Talk about it.  Agree with each other where you are in the process of courtship.  Consider these three steps:

1. Getting to know each other - no commitment is offered or implied.  The purpose is to find out what the other person is like.  If you want to give yourself a chance at building a good relationship, start with honesty.  This is not the time to be phony.  You don't want to trick someone into liking you.  You want to be who you really are.

2. Considering marriage - the only commitment is that you are taking this step with only one person, not shopping around.  Good communication means that you take the step of considering marriage by talking about it and deciding together.  You should be discussing the possibility with other people who know you and have your best interest at heart.  This would be a good time to visit your pastor together and get some counsel.

3. Planning marriage - Don't take this step until you are sure!  You should be working hard on your relationship and getting pre-marital counseling.  Don't let wedding plans get in the way of good communication and mutual respect.